Always striving to prove the nay-sayers otherwise, you fail miserably at each painful attempt. Constantly underestimated in whatever group you associate with, you find yourself to be the designated underdog. Just a few of the many lies that you tell yourself. Strong, independent, ambitious, talented, and compassionate. ‘ Sweet’ Dee Reynolds It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia This is a fact, much like the fact of creationism. Our undisputed lord and savior Jesus Christ molded you in his image. Obsessed with your physique and your masculinity you spend a lot of your time talking about how physically perfect you are. Your karate skills are unmatched despite your inability to actually defend yourself. And if they don’t know you, they ought to. People don’t know you as well as you know you, which is why you’re so quick to snap. Cancers are notorious for being quiet about who they really are so the only conclusion to draw from this is that you’re probably in the closet. From time to time you fantasize about murdering your enemies and according to your logic, it’s not rape, it’s just a “frame bang.” Cancer You care little for anyone in your life (including everyone in the gang), you were sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo, The DENNIS System is the most brilliantly devised plan since Hiroshima, you think ugliness is a crime, you’re a five star man, and the unchallenged Golden God. Like Dennis, you’re extremely vain, addicted to sex, and incredibly irritable. I think one word encapsulates who you are. Geminiĭennis Reynolds It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Sadly, there’s a very good chance, you couldn’t understand a word of this. Everything about you is repulsive and you live happily in filth.

You’re human of simple pleasure unclogging toilets, milk steak, sniffing glue, writing musicals about rape, and attacking Santa. You fail to realize that people use you and pawn you into doing “Charlie Work”, or the jobs that no normal person would ever happily agree to do. While you lack literacy, intelligence, social skills, common intuition, and a sense of reality, what you do have is a blind faith in your narcissistic allies and an obsessive love for someone who’s name you don’t even know. TaurusĬharlie Kelly It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Despite accusations of having “Donkey Brains” and being physically inadequate, you’ve shown the world that even while being so disproportionate, you have just as much hate, cruelty, bigotry to spread as anyone else. Vietnamese sweat shops are just business. You’re a huge success in the worst way possible. The only person you love is your frog alter ego. You serve a detrimental role in your gang, you’re not the idea man, you’re the money man and you constantly exploit the desires of those closest to you. There’s only three ways to solve your problems, you can either shoot someone, flaunt your money, or trip balls on LSD. Frank Reynolds It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Always sunny mac weight loss